When you are disabled there will be some things you will not be able to do for yourself and sometimes may have to ask for help. If you have a physical disability and are dependent on others sometimes you may start to feel bad having to ask for help all the time. Asking for help from others is something I’ve always struggled because sometimes I feel like I’m being an inconvenience or a bother. When you are disabled sometimes there is no way around asking for help if you don’t want things to end in a total disaster but accepting the help can be difficult. Help is sometimes necessary and if you are struggling here a few tips that may help you learn that help is not a sign of weakness!
You are not a burden- Sometimes when we need extra help the one thing that is stopping us from asking for it is we tell ourselves that we are a burden because there is so much we can’t do. Yeah, there will be some rude people that will look you in the eye and shut the door on you or do something equally as rude but for the most part, people will be nice and be more than happy to help. Your disability is something you can not control and you are not a burden to your friends and family so stop telling yourself that. The worst thing that can happen is that you ask for help and you don’t get it and if that happens and you really need it all you can do is ask someone else. You can ask for help but at the end of the day, you can’t make someone want to help you.
Try and do a task first- Unless I know for a fact that something will either end in disaster or is just impossible I always try it first before asking for help. Trying tasks first make me feel more independent because sometimes what I thought would be hard isn’t and what I thought would be easy is actually really difficult so it can never hurt to try. You may learn you can do more than you thought you could needing less help and feeling more confident about your abilities.
Stop blaming yourself- One of the biggest reasons why people can’t learn to accept help and stop feeling guilty is that they are too busy blaming themselves for there disability and they want to do everything like an abled person does. Here’s the truth you can’t and until you learn that your life and the life of your abled friends are different you can never truly embrace your disability. Your disability is what makes you who you so stop trying to change that but instead try to grow as a disabled person. Everyone is different and has unique personalities and even though an abled person struggles less that doesn’t mean their life is better. Your disability is something you cannot control or change so stop trying to be someone your not because it will just go in an endless cycle.
If you are disabled and have to ask for help all the time it can sometimes make you feel like your lazy. Unless you are asking for help on a task you know you can do to independently you are not lazy! Don’t ever, not ask for help because you feel that way or are worried your peers think that way because chances are if they know you well enough they don’t. Asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness because it takes courage to recognize you can’t do it all alone! It is important that you let disabled people do as much as they can independently without doing it for them but if you can’t friends and family are almost always willing to help. Friends and family don’t ever judge so if you are having a hard time asking for help friends and family are the best people to practice on. If you have any questions about how to get over guilt with a disability please leave them in the comments below.